Apparently, they’re changing the entire name of their company to Dunkin’ so that they can better advertise all the shit that nobody fucking cares about. I honestly don’t know why they’re even bothering. Can somebody please tell me? It will always be Dunkin’ Donuts. Regardless of their initiative. No matter how hard they try or want it to stick. It does not matter at all. And this probably costs them money to do, if you think about it. Probably a whole lot of money. To change themselves from Dunkin’ Donuts all the way to Dunkin’. For fucking what?! What for?! Somebody please tell me the reason behind this incredibly absurd idea. "Donuts from Dunkin’" is such a ridiculous notion to entertain. I won't entertain it at all. It’s almost as, if not just as ridiculous as their own belief that they are competitors in any way to Krispy's when everybody knows that it’s not even fucking close.
Changing your name won’t bring the customers back, okay? A chunk of bread in sheep’s clothing is still a chunk of bread in sheep’s clothing. Maybe change your recipe instead of your god damned name, you fucking frauds. I will never say "Donuts from Dunkin’." Okay? Never will say it, and you can’t make me say it. No matter how many times you threaten me or my family. No matter how many times you show up at my home with various bribes and other trite intimidation tactics. It doesn't work. It won't ever work. It will always be the words "Dunkin’ Donuts" coming out of my mouth, forever, until the day that I die, and I pass it on to my children--because that is who you are, and all you will ever be.
Leave me and my dunking family alone.
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